You may have heard from my various channels that I’ve started writing a book! As we turn the page into the new year, I realized that I wrote the Preface for my book, Confidence with New Year’s Resolutions, on my mind. So, I thought there was no better time than now to drop a sneak peek of my book’s energy as we embark on a new year and battle the onslaught of pressure to change ourselves for the “better.”
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A Sneak Peek of the Preface from My Book CONFIDENCE:
I don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions. This may feel strange if you’ve ever met me or followed me on social media because I continuously encourage others (and myself) to set goals, reach for them, and never stop believing in themselves. But New Year’s resolutions don’t feel in line with my ideology. They are built on rules, restrictions, and unrealistic expectations. They revolve around the negative notion that you must change to be worthy. You must be skinnier, more driven, better because who you are is not worthy. You need improvement. They set people up for failure with lofty intentions of becoming a “New You.” They make you feel that who you are today is not good enough and that, my baby, is a lie. You are good enough today and every day.
Ditch the “New Year, New Me.”
Embrace “New Year, Same Me, Better Coping Skills.”
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I do not receive that “New Year, New Me” kind of energy in my life, and I’d invite you not to either. I’d like to offer an alternative to “improving” oneself, with the concept of developing oneself, loving, and encouraging yourself to naturally become the person you are designed to be.
In lieu of the new calendar year marker, I focus on MY year, the signaling of a new turn around the sun for myself. My birthday is in December; every year, I use that month to think about where I have been and where I would like to go. I take time to appreciate my accomplishments, triumphs, and struggles throughout the year.
I write this now as Christina Version 47, and I must admit I genuinely like her. Unabashedly, I love her. Christina V47 has taken me all across the country, launched a business, and made great strides professionally and personally. With every passing sunset, she has become stronger, brighter, and more resilient. Preparing for Christina Version 48, I want to examine how I can best support HER. I will choose aspirations that embody the kind of energy that Christina V48 will need for her success.
Generally, as my birthday approaches, I start to think of my “goals” for my next chapter. Over the years, I’ve learned that choosing a single word or phrase to revolve around helps me the most. A simple yet effective touchstone to help pull me back into focus throughout the year.
A Healing Journey Starts With Self-Love
One year, I chose the word Faith: faith in myself, faith in my God, and faith in those I love. This word helped me so much that I kept it for a second year. For 2023, one word just didn’t seem like enough. I had an incredible amount of success and joy to be thankful for and, simultaneously, a lot to forgive myself for as I continued my healing journey. More than anything, I didn’t want my healing to make me afraid to take risks or to harden me so that I was no longer willing to be vulnerable.
Enter the phrase – Grace, Gumption, and Gratitude.
May I continually engage with gratitude as I humbly bow my head to sit in the blessings that rain upon me when I least expect them.
May I have the grace to treat myself with gentle kindness when I struggle, stumble, fall, and fail. Failure is inevitable. I am so accustomed to its pain, for if I expect to learn, I must also expect to fail. Finally, may I have the gumption, the boundless positive emotional energy that keeps me jumping out of airplanes and climbing impressively tall mountains, figuratively speaking, of course.
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Grace, Gratitude and Gumption
How does Grace, Gratitude, and Gumption translate to a book named Confidence? My 2023 mantra helped me focus on the value of growing with myself, for myself, and never in opposition to myself. I am my own best friend. If we widdle these ideas down to their simplest form, to one single word, we reach Confidence. Confidence in yourself directly equates to loving yourself, trusting yourself, and showing up for yourself.
As I meditated on these words, it hit me: What does the Christina Wells story teach? What can I share from my life and experience that can help others? The answer was how I defined my confidence over and over again when so many life experiences tried to break my spirit.
When I set about writing this book, my writing partner and I Googled the word confidence, looking for ways to connect with what people were searching for around this ethos. We asked ourselves, who is looking for this message? What questions are they asking, and how do we ensure they find this book?
The number one thing Googled about confidence was the definition.
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How Do You Define Confidence?
This made us scratch our heads a bit at first, “How do people not know what the definition of confidence is?” It’s just to be confident, right? But then we paused and realized how hard it can be to define confidence for yourself and how elusive it can be to feel confidence within yourself.
I decided then that the goal of my book would be to help you define the word confidence so that you really know what it means in YOUR life. I’d do this by sharing moments from my life that taught me confidence and how I needed to return to my definition of confidence multiple times—redefining it with every new cycle of my life. My goal is that by the end of this book, you will be able to use your confidence to proclaim that you are worthy of living the life you have always dreamed of and ultimately find a way to shower yourself with grace, tackle life with gumption and to radiate an energy of gratitude in a world filled with anxiety and fear.
*End of excerpt
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So, What are My Words for 2024?
My words of Grace, Gratitude, and Gumption propelled me through last year and helped me to feel worthy of writing my first book. This year, I have chosen three new words to guide and inspire me: Compassion, Kindness, and Confidence.
Compassion and empathy for myself, those I love, and especially strangers. I want to be compassionate to myself with my self-imposed expectations because I know the fires I’ve walked through. I want to extend that compassion to others because I don’t know what they’ve endured to get to where they are.
Kindness because I am leaving the word NICE behind. I want to be genuine and authentic. I think kindness is a much better energy than nice. I strive to show kindness to myself and to others. I used to think kindness and niceness were interchangeable, but this year, I am going to search for the difference in my actions.
Confidence is the most important word for me this year, as I have decided to make it the title of my book. Every day, people comment on how I inspire them with my seemingly unwavering confidence. Trust me, it wavers all the time. My confidence has not always come readily or easily. Even as I am writing this book, I face challenges to my confidence, but I believe wholeheartedly that the next step to my self-healing journey is to take everything that I have been through and use it to inspire others.
I want my message of hope, self-love, and dreams to be more than social media posts and YouTube videos. I want to leave behind the hard-earned answers I have figured out in this giant test that we call LIFE. I know that my book will allow me to do just that. Please consider joining my email list to be among the first to know when the pre-order link is live: https://bit.ly/JoinTheDivaSquad